Posts Categorized: Sense of Space

Mirrors are powerful objects and are often misused in design and Feng Shui. While it is true that they can expand a space and circulate energy, they are not the only things that can do so, and there are important guidelines that should be followed if they are to enhance rather than compromise the energy of a space.

Because mirrors literally provide us with a self image (literally), having an accurate reflection of our appearance is important. Surfaces should be clean in order to see yourself clearly, and the height and framing of the mirror should be appropriate to your body size. If you need to hunch down to have your head fully reflected, you may be experiencing less self-confidence than you would like (as well as headaches). Similarly, long narrow mirrors – which are regrettably very common – can lead to doubting one’s capacity to take up space and be fully present. I’ve worked with a number of people with such mirrors suffering from eating disorders: they saw themselves needing to ‘fit in’ to a smaller space. All of these clients saw a positive change in their eating habits when they bought wider, more inclusive mirrors.

Smaller, head-only mirrors are not recommended. They can keep us in our heads and less connected to the bigger picture. Women in particular should absolutely ensure that mirrors include their entire torso so as not to cut off their bust. Mirrors that are divided up (as the one in the image above) are also not recommended, as they cut up one’s image. Tiny decorative mirrors that are only inches wide must be avoided at all costs: every client I’ve worked with who had these was experiencing significant psychological distress, as though being cut down emotionally. If you own these small mirrors, lay them horizontally on a table or cabinet and use them as a tray for objects such as candles, perfume bottles, or jewerly. (And never use those so-called ‘Feng Shui’ mirrors sold to be put above your front door.)

Where you place a mirror in the home is equally important. Historically, Feng Shui lore has spoken to not having a mirror in the bedroom because your spirit would be afraid seeing itself at night. This rather colourful tale obscures a more logical explanation: because mirrors reflect anything opposite them, even if it is dark, movement in one part of the room can create the illusion of motion elsewhere. This means that a twinkle of light from the window or the slightest movement in the bed can make it appear as though something is moving in the mirror, causing your nervous system to tune into the potential threat of an intruder and thereby limiting your capacity to fully relax and deeply rest.

While it obviously makes sense to have a mirror in a bedroom when you can get dressed to see how you look (and many might want it for the reverse of these proceedings), ensuring that the bed itself is not reflected will help you get a better sleep. I am not exaggerating when I say that 100% of my clients with difficulty sleeping who had a mirror reflecting the bed noticed an immediate improvement when moving the mirror or covering it up at night. If you have mirrored closet doors (like I do), you can set up a curtain rod with curtains that you draw at night to cover the mirror while you sleep (like I do), which gives the option of having the mirrors be more active during daylight hours. Mirrors above the headboard are not recommended (anything heavy in that position will keep your nervous system on high alert) and mirrors on the ceiling might be more appropriate in Las Vegas or love hotels, where sleeping is less of a priority.

Another point about mirrors is to ensure that whatever they reflect is something that you like. Because mirrors create the illusion of duplication, whatever is being doubled should ideally be something you want more of as opposed to something you don’t. Position them to reflect dining tables (doubling the food on your table but not your waistline) or favourite works of art or collections, while aiming not to duplicate laundry baskets, garbage cans, or piles of clutter.

You should avoid placing mirrors opposite other mirrors: this creates a kind of ‘hall of mirrors’ effect, where you seem to be caught in the middle of a neverending tunnel. This arrangement can lead to feeling that there is never any end in sight to whatever is going on in your life. Additionally, a mirror opposite the front door, while said in classical Feng Shui to bounce energy out the door, is indeed not very auspicious: it can surprise you because of the sudden movement reflected in the home as soon as you enter, in addition to drawing your attention to what is behind you outside the home rather than welcoming you more fully into your space.

Because mirrors provide an opportunity for reflection (pun intended), too many of them can lead to self-consciousness and overthinking. More than one mirror on the same wall can bring about second-guessing, whereas multiple mirrors on different walls in the same room can be disorienting and confusing. Each room really doesn’t need more than one, and too many in a home in general can make you too self-conscious about your appearance.

May everything reflected around you bring you joy.

While there are obvious advantages to living in manmade structures (protection from the rain, snow, and extreme temperatures comes to mind), the buildings that house us have many features not found in the natural world. Because our consciousness and bodies come from nature, residing in artificial surroundings can bring certain stresses to our nervous system, often in ways that we don’t recognize. Among the most basic but profound are straight lines, which set up two dynamics that we don’t find in the great outdoors: corners and edges.

You don’t see straight lines in nature. If you’re looking at a straight line, it means that a human being has been there. (Take a look at a map.) The things we see as ‘straight’ in nature – tree trunks or limbs of the body, for example – are actually not straight, but have a subtle irregularity to their shape. While there is a benefit to having a flat surface to a table or floor – it’s nice not to trip while walking on a flat surface or to have your pen roll off the table – the edges and corners that get created set up challenging scenarios.

These long, straight, hard lines remind our nervous system of other things that are straight and manmade: the blades of knives and swords. The common denominator is that they produce sharp, cutting energy. Because our bodies – products of the natural world – find the straight lines so alien, they ‘read’ these edges and corners as hostile and threatening. Is it any wonder that when living our lives in modern society we feel ‘on edge’ or ‘stuck in a corner’, whereas we feel less so when in more natural environments?

When childproofing a home, one of the first things expectant parents do is to soften the corners and edges of furniture. Why not do the same for the adults? Of course, you don’t want bumper-car padding on all of your furniture – design magazines certainly wouldn’t buy into that – but tablecloths can soften the edge of tables, for example, and buying furniture with more rounded edges and corners can go a long way to creating a softer, more welcoming environment. When the harder edges are less visible, your nervous system isn’t busy picking up potential threats in the environment and can relax into its present-time experience.

Corners of rooms also create a challenge. Isn’t it interesting that a traditional punishment for children is to have them stand facing into a corner, where three straight lines intersect? How interesting that this is where dustbunnies (and therefore stagnant energy) accumulates. Corners – as well as the edge where the floor and wall meet – enable limited energy circulation, which is one of the reasons dust builds up there: it’s a sign that things are stuck in that area. It is therefore important to do what you can to enliven these spaces by inviting energy to circulate.

You can add vibrancy to a corner in a number of ways. Plants and flowers bring fresh air through oxygen production and perhaps an aroma, while the more natural shape of their leaves help to visually break up the line connecting the walls. A circulating fan helps to move energy around, while an aromatherapy diffuser releases fresh aromatic oxygen in more randomly-shaped clouds of mist. Speakers enliven these dead spaces with sounds that we can enjoy, while lamps or other sources of light can bring illumination to an otherwise dark space. Anything that’s rounder in shape will help to balance out the straight lines and literally create circulation.

We are living at a time where we have many choices when decorating our homes. Never before has such an array of design options been available. Consider bringing more furniture with softer edges and rounded corners into your home, along with seating and other furniture whose shapes are more curved. This helps to balance out the straight lines that will inherently be found in any modern domicile in the forms of floors, windows, and ceilings, unless you live in a yurt (Google it). Notice how the Yin-Yang symbol, which speaks to the balance of extremes, has no straight lines, and that the edge bridging polar opposites is a wavy line. Creating an overall balance between these forms in your home helps to create a warm, naturally inviting space.

May your home greet you with a welcoming embrace.

The words ‘Feng Shui’ refer to ‘Wind’ and ‘Water’, two forms of energy without which we cannot survive. The practice aims to cultivate the lifeforce energy of Qi that brings both their life-enhancing properties. ‘Wind’ refers to the harmonious movement of air within the physical environment. Much like with water, air can move gently like a stream (as with a soft breeze) or strongly like a torrent (the word ‘Typhoon’ means ‘Big Wind’). In Feng Shui, appropriately harnessing the energy of air in home and work spaces is said to nourish the individuals in that space.

Air is invisible and yet is of paramount importance to our existence, so anything that both stimulates its movement and makes us aware of its presence is considered auspicious. Wind chimes, windsocks, and other ornaments that stimulate the environment through sound and movement help to make sense-able the otherwise intangible, bringing more clearly to consciousness the often unconsidered forces that support us in life. Aromatherapy diffusers can infuse the air with a lovely smell and thereby bring a flavour to an otherwise aromatically bland space.

The back left zone of a room or property (opposite side of the room from the door, on the left) is a particularly potent place to decorate with these objects, as that area relates to Wealth, the original symbol of which was Wind. Fans add more propulsion to the movement of air and can therefore be extremely supportive. Ideally the fan should be facing towards the center of the room from a corner (ideally that back left corner), and it is particularly auspicious if it rotates. Keep in mind that the energy of anything around the fan will also circulate around the room, so you want the area to include more natural objects like plants than chaotic energy like clutter. Decorative hand-held fans, even when on display and not moving, help to stimulate the energetic element of air particularly when placed in the Wealth area of the room, though obviously real air circulation is preferable.

Doors and windows are the primary avenues for new air to enter your space, so it is essential that they be kept clean and in good working order. Regularly clean the frames so that the air crossing the threshold isn’t bringing physical dust or energetic stagnation into the space. Chimes on doors can be a wonderful way to highlight the movement of air while transitioning from one space to another – they are particularly good on bathroom doors, as they symbolically transform the quality of the air (though aromatherapy will more literally change any odours).

The air can stagnate in areas where there is less circulation, such as inside closets and cabinets, and behind heavy furniture. It is important to open closets and cabinets regularly and to remove everything every season to help move the air around. Cleaning behind heavy furniture on a regular basis is important too. This could be an ideal location for an aromatherapy diffuser, which can help to freshen up the air that circulates around such large pieces.

As much as possible, use natural cleaning solutions to help keep the air that circulates as natural as it can be. Astringent, artificial ingredients may be effective at cleaning spaces but they toxify the air with chemicals that can have an adverse effect on your health. With a little Googling, you can find lots of ways to use ingredients like baking soda, vinegar, lemon, and soda water (perhaps not all at the same time…) to clean a space. Use natural aroma oils rather than the harsher, chemical-based products sold with the purpose of freshening the air – whenever I go into a space like that, I find the space less appealing than is the intention of the owner! Keep things simple and natural.

May your time at home be a breath of fresh air!

The world is a colourful place – flowers are a prime example of the glorious array of hues that are possible – yet the average home has a limited number of tones. Each colour can relate to specific emotional and behavioural responses, often quite different from what we have been told or what is culturally believed. If we wish to live a full-frequency life, it is important to have a variety of colours in the home, while paying heed to some potentially misguided use of colours. Perhaps the most important space to be mindful of colours is the bedroom, where we move from a conscious state to an unconscious one in which we are more receptive to the messages around us. 

I cannot stress enough the importance of being careful with the use of the colour blue in the bedroom. While it is often spoken of being a ‘calming’ colour and is stereotypically associated with boys, blue should not be used as a primary colour in a bedroom, where its watery quality can leave one feeling swamped both physically and emotionally. Being surrounded by watery-toned sheets, curtains, and/or walls can lead to finding it difficult just to stay at the surface of things in your life, let alone to get moving. (And if you’re looking to have things get hot in the bedroom, setting the tone with such a cool colour means you’ll have to work that much harder to heat things up in there!)

In over a decade of practice, I have yet to meet someone with these colours in the bedroom who was not feeling slowed down, tired, emotionally confused, consistently sad, or depressed – they quite literally have ‘the blues.’ One client in a workshop spoke of how she was hospitalized for depression for three months; when released, she walked into her bedroom and immediately realized that the blue walls, curtains, and bedsheets needed to go. A friend’s seven-year-old son, whose bedroom had blue curtains and bedding, as well as other black features, was asking questions of a depth beyond his years, moaning ‘Why am I alive? I didn’t ask to be born…‘ – and not in a naturally inquisitive way, but rather tinged with melancholy and angst. A friend recently wrote on Facebook about feeling more depressed than she’d ever been; when I messaged her privately to ask about her bedroom colours, she stated she had blue curtains, blue sheets, and a black comforter; she changed them immediately and the following day was already feeling better. If you have any of these items – get rid of them. Perhaps the material can be recycled in a better way – a table cloth or table mats… or rags for cleaning the floor.

I have come across a remarkable degree of resistance from some clients who have these cool, depressing tones in their bedrooms. They tend to emphasize how much they like the colour while simultaneously complaining the symptoms I explain it can cause. If someone is adamant about the use of a colour, it’s not about the colour but what it represents. Blue relates strongly to emotion, so if there are issues about not being heard or not being able to articulate one’s feelings, the presence of that colour can seem validating because the emotion is, in a sense, visible in the environment; consequently, removing it would seem to invalidate their emotional experience. Teenage boys in particular, who haven’t developed the skill (or likely been encouraged) to express their feelings might be particularly resistant to changing the colour that outpictures the depth of their emotional range. If agreement is challenging, work towards step-by-step tonal shifts that move away from blue – one pillow or comforter at a time.

This does not mean to avoid the use of blue altogether, or to go to the other extreme and paint your room all red (that could potentially lead to so much passion that anger can light up). Blue accents are wonderful: a bowl or object, the sky or water in a well-placed painting or photograph (avoid too much watery art in the bedroom, though), can bring a fresh clarity to a space. However, mood-setting colours through which light is filtered (like curtains) or against which your skin is placed (like bedsheets) are best kept neutral to warm. Light earthy tones (including yellows), pastels, and the softer red spectrum can keep things warm and stable without overheating, accentuating the warmth of your complection and helping you look your best. Green tones on the walls or sheets, by contrast, highlight your veins and make you look seasick. (Some shades of green on walls – like sage – can look nice, but they’re best avoided in bedrooms and require good lighting and other warm tones to balance them out.) I’ve seen introverted teens become more outgoing and socially balanced as they phased out darker tones and embraced softer, warmer colours. (If you exchange the words ‘tones’ and ‘colours’ for ‘emotions’ and ‘moods’, that last sentence really makes sense, doesn’t it?)

Don’t assume you need dark colours to help you sleep better – turning out the lights and having good blinds will take care of that. Keep your bedroom surroundings neutral to warm in tone, and you’ll find yourself more likely to sleep well and feel refreshed.

May your bedroom nurture and support your warmth and wellbeing.

No one is an island – we rely on the support of others in our lives. In applying Feng Shui principles, we can strengthen our capacity to having the right people coming into our lives at the right time. There is an area of each room and each overall property that we can work with to consciously increase our luck in this area. The zone governing Helpful People is the same one that relates to Travel: it is located in the front of the room or home (the side closest to the door), on the right-hand corner when looking into the room from the door. 

The common theme between Travel and Helpful People is connections: traveling people connect with others while on their journeys, in addition to using planes, trains, and automobiles to connect their starting point with their destination. Indeed, the people who are most helpful to us on our life journey are those with whom we have a connection. Therefore, featuring images or objects that bring to mind this kind of relationship is a potent way to accent this space. Pictures of individuals who have been helpful to you (and still are) are a great support, as are images of spiritual figures or guardian angels. I have a close-up of the hands from Michelangelo’s ‘Creation of Adam’ that show God and Adam’s hands reaching towards one another (I like to have friends in high places). In my experience, an image showing hands touching or about to touch are particularly potent as an energetic support in this area. A digital photo frame running through a series of images can be an excellent way to feature a visual rolodex of contacts without cluttering the space.

Because the area relates to connections, anything that relates to actually contacting someone is also advantageous. If it’s possible to have a telephone or computer that accesses the internet in this space, it can help strengthen this zone – but only if you’re not stretching wires all over the place and if the area supports those activities. Decorative objects work well too: a model of a telephone, an image of postcards or letters, or perhaps an iPad or iPhone dock can be excellent here too. Phone books (if you still have them), business card holders (ditto), and other tools that help you stay connected also serve this area well.

This sector governs synchronicity – the right thing happening at the right time – and so anything that supports good timing can be used here. A clock is a great support – especially if it tells the right time. (If you want to connect well with others and to feel synchronized in general, your clocks should match those of the real world outside your home.) Old-fashioned analogue clocks are excellent, as circular and spherical shapes are particularly powerful in this corner, which is supported by the Metal element (if it’s metallic, it’s that much better). If you have a window here, metal windchimes can help you connect with cosmic forces of change (like the wind) and help stimulate synchronistic relationships and encounters. A world map or globe can help nurture the energy of connecting internationally too.

Because this area speaks to smooth relationships and easy connections, anything that speaks to the opposite of this will hold you back. Clutter here reflects difficulty in relating to others or finding support, in addition to confused travel plans. Too much wood or too many plants work against the Metal element of this area, potentially causing some challenges (white flowers are ok, as white symbolizes metal). Pictures of exes, relatives you don’t like, or other people who have been annoying to you will exacerbate frustrated relationships. A general Feng Shui rule of thumb: if it’s dirty, clean it, if it’s messy, organize it, if it’s broken, fix it or dispose of it, and if you don’t like it, why do you have it?

May your life be filled with abundant support and synchronistic relationships. 

Valentine’s Day has become a time to focus on love and romance for those who are either single or partnered. Ideally, we shouldn’t require a particular day to remind us of honouring harmonious romantic relationships; it should be a natural instinct and expression of self without needing to lapse into sentimental overkill. There is a connection between how people settle into patterns and habits and how the things in their home environment settle and stagnate. If you want to enliven and invigorate your relationship, it is important to reexamine your surroundings, attitudes, and behaviours.

Keeping things fresh is important for relationships to continue to blossom and grow. As such, updating your perspective and how you see yourself, your partner, and your coupling is essential. Nothing will keep your relationship locked in past patterns quite like old pictures of you as a couple. When the pictures of the two of you haven’t been updated since the engagement, wedding, and honeymoon, you are sure to compare your relationship now to how you had hoped the future would be, as opposed to accepting how it has actually evolved. But those same pictures placed alongside photos taken in the years since then will help create a visible timeline of the relationship, the early years of your relationship becoming landmarks as opposed to a final destination. At least one picture should be of a happy occasion in the last 6 to 12 months to help keep the evolution of your relationship current.

Updating objects is important too. If you keep old mementos front and center without upgrading them, it will feel as if your glory days were in the past. Old wedding bouquets are a big no-no: they were once fresh and now have dried up… that is not how you want your marriage to feel. Use the petals in a bath, and enjoy fresh bouquets of flowers. One couple I know buys flowers every week – in the 16 years of their relationship, that has never stopped. One doesn’t need to have new presents to keep a union alive, but authentic expressions of caring expressed this way can be a terrific gift to both parties. Purchases made not just for anniversaries and birthdays but because you think your partner would enjoy them will make these gifts a sign that you care rather than an empty gesture with a self-serving desired outcome.

Which brings us to the next important point: not taking each other for granted. Settling into a routine is one thing, but when things stagnate and the special moments stop coming, one feels as though the relationship has passed its best-before date. ‘Date night’ can become just a routine – while it can be a great idea for parents with kids to have a scheduled night off, varying things as much as possible will help it feel like less of an item on a ‘to do’ list and more of a genuine expression of your love for spending time with one another. Change the days of the week, if possible, and change your activities up – try new things. Rather than always going out to dinner or a movie, try a new activity, explore a different part of town… be spontaneous.

Clear communication is important for any relationship to thrive. One way to make sure that things are appropriately on the table (so to speak) is keeping your closets in order, with doors closed. Closet doors that are regularly kept open (when not in use, of course) can blur the boundary between your inner and outer worlds; the result can be that your inner voice comes out while what should be communicated remains inside. To avoid secrecy and resentment from taking root, ensure that closet doors function well and are kept closed. If mirrored, they should be kept sparkling clean. The insides count too: have things be organized and accessible, rather than an avalanche waiting to happen.

A few other hints (most of which I’ve written about in earlier columns):

– Opt for warmer colours in the bedroom; avoid dark wall colours and sheets
– Have matching end tables and lamps on each side of the bed
– Avoid high furniture near the bed or shelving above the bed
– Make sure each person’s objects and favourites are easily accessible so that they
don’t feel ‘less than’ the other

May your love and partnership continue to blossom for years.

Photograph courtesy SCM Photography